COVID-19 AND CONTROL
With the current crisis going on in this world, much of society has shifted in ways we never imagined.
Schools are closed.
Businesses are closed.
Professional sports are shut down.
Hospitals are full.
And unfortunately, people are dying and a virus is still spreading at an alarming rate.
This is not hype. This is just the facts.
But I would tell you it's not a cause for hysteria.
Unfortunately for many of us when we face times of great uncertainty and stress, if we struggle with porn and sex addiction, our go-to mechanism is often numbing out and using the things that make our minds and brains feel better, albeit only usually for a short time.
I can tell you that in the Live Free Community, this is an ongoing discussion between many of our men who are struggling more than ever because of the things that are going on in the world.
And while I certainly acknowledge that these are trying times, I would also tell you that there are some things to keep in mind which may help you get through these coming weeks and months without having to turn to destructive things like porn, masturbation, etc.
Here's the thing… all of us, especially those who are struggling with porn addiction, feel a lot of pressure when we don't feel we have control of a situation.
Why is this?
Well, when we're out of control, it reinforces these negative ideas that we've built up in our mind that somehow, we are incapable or inept. That we don't really matter because life just seems to move on with or without us.
Here's the thing though.
Control is a myth.
You are never in control.
You never have been.
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There are things constantly happening all around you that you have no say in and could completely flip the script of your life at any given moment.
I don't say this to scare you, but to remind you that control is ultimately a mechanism of pride.
We need to give up control and embrace the fact that the person who does have control is God. And he is ultimately far more capable of handling these situations than we will ever be.
Stop worrying about the lack of control.
You never had it to begin with.
Something we talk about often inside the Live Free Community is that whenever we are feeling the need to medicate with porn, it is an opportunity for us to explore and figure out what deep pains are driving us to do so in the first place.
Exploring the “why” behind our need to use porn is not fun because it's going to force you to face things about yourself that you rather not face.
But it is an excellent opportunity for you to move forward in your journey and heal as you start to resolve some of the insecurities and false assumptions you've made about yourself over the years.
Again, I recognize that what's going on is kind of crazy and certainly a legitimate cause for concern, but the reasons that you're feeling anxiety and stress in these moments most likely lie far deeper below the surface than you are willing to admit.
Don't take the easy road out and numb your problems away with a bunch of poor decisions.
Rather, ask yourself, why am I feeling this way?
What does this say about me?
What is this telling me about the deep-seated beliefs I have about myself, many of which are most likely not even accurate?
Use this as an opportunity to get to know the real you more than ever.
Make sure that you are tapping into the systems of support you have in your life.
In a situation like this where many of us are forced to isolate, we can't afford to not still invest in the relationships we've built.
Heck, in this technological age, there are more ways to connect than ever before.
Because ultimately what's going to help you the most in a time like this is the community that you've placed around you.
We will get through this, but we will only get through it together.
Yes, the times are uncertain. Stress is at an all-time high.
But don’t let the climate of the current situation dictate the trajectory of your life.
Give up control.
Use this opportunity to get to know yourself better.
Lean into your community.
And when this crisis inevitably passes, you will be able to come through it with a much better and healthier mindset than you ever imagined.
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