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Carl Thomas

Pastor | Live Free Founder | Lover of Jesus, Philly sports, fitness, tattoos, sarcasm, and craft beers.

Anxiety sucks.

If you’ve never dealt with anxiety, maybe this is news to you, but if you have, you know what I’m talking about. That oppressive feeling that something’s about to go wrong or that life’s about to explode.

For me, the worst type of anxiety is when I don’t even know why I’m anxious in the first place.

You see sometimes I can deal with anxiety.

When I realize that it’s a job thing, or a family thing, or a money thing, I can begin to cope with the issue at hand.

I can start asking myself the tough questions.
I can start to do the deep digging and hopefully get some resolve.

But when I’m feeling anxious and I have no idea why??? That really makes my head spin.

I mean, what are you supposed to do?

How are you supposed to cope when you don’t even know where to begin?

I remember several years ago I went to my counselor because some anxiety issues started popping up again in my life. Stuff that I had thought I resolved years ago. The funny thing was I went back thinking that my anxiety was again coming from ministry/job-related stuff.

But then as we talked, I started to realize that more of it was actually coming from some forgiveness issues and dare I say, pride issues.

It was an eye-opening session and I went home with some new questions to struggle with.

And now years later everything’s perfect… NOT!

Let’s be real, nothing like this stuff changes overnight. But what has changed since that time is this… I’m more aware.

  • I am able to recognize the deeper issues in my life that I need to resolve.
  • I’m better at asking the hard questions.
  • I pray more seeking answers and guidance.
  • I’m consistently trying to figure out what needs to change, so I can become the man I want to be.

The reason I share this with you is that I feel like so many guys who deal with porn and those sorts of things have an awareness issue.

Yes, they need some soul healing.
Yes, they need some emotional, spiritual, and psychological self-care.


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Yes, they need some soul healing.
Yes, they need some emotional, spiritual, and psychological self-care.

But more than anything they need some awareness.

They struggle with porn, but they’re not quite sure why. They just know they have a problem but they don’t know where to get answers.

I’ve been there. I understand what it’s like.

You go back to porn day in and day out asking yourself the same question, “Why do I need this stuff so much?”

You want answers but you don’t know where to look, and I would tell you this.

You need some awareness.

Start figuring out what emotionally, spiritually, and maybe even physically you’re dealing with that is pushing you to go seek out porn as a comfort.

Examine your daily rhythms and try to decipher some of the patterns that you see unfolding in front of your eyes.

Discover the pains in your life that you’re trying to medicate through the use of porn and masturbation.

And when you do, you’ll have the freedom to start trying to figure out how to heal those things.

But realize awareness doesn’t usually just manifest itself without any work. It often requires conversation, deep thinking, and transparency.

The more you talk about these things, the more you’ll start to find your own answers. You’ll start to figure out the things that aren’t going well in your life and how those things impact your desire to use porn.

And then you’ll have a place to start.

Maybe you need to go get some counseling, take a course, join a support group, but at least you’ll know what you’re working on, and you’re not left with the question… Why do I use in the first place?

Don’t just be happy with the answer I don’t know.

Try to figure it out.

Try to build some awareness in your life, so you have a place to start your healing.

If you need a place to share these things, a place where you can be really you and transparent, join the Live Free Community and find the support you need.

It’s a beautiful thing when we start to share because we start to unpack our emotions and the things we repress inside.

And once it’s all out on the table, you’ll be in a better place to go to work and start fixing things.

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