Emotions are an integral part of being human, both positive and negative.

Consequently, the feelings these emotions evoke are also a natural part of the human experience, whether they be feelings of joy and excitement or sadness and anger. 

However, many of us struggle to handle or regulate our emotions in a healthy manner, often attempting to escape or suppress them altogether. This unhealthy manner of coping can lead to emotional distress, strained relationships, physical health issues, and yes… unwanted behaviors such as sexually acting out. 

Consequently, when we are unaware of our inability to sit with our emotions, it can make dealing with the resulting choices and behaviors exceedingly difficult. The following are three indications that you may be struggling with emotional management, along with suggestions on how to better understand and navigate your feelings.

Emotional Avoidance and/or Detachment:

One of the most obvious signs that you don’t know how to sit with your emotions is emotional avoidance. Engaging in behaviors such as working excessively, overindulging in food, or turning to substances like alcohol, drugs, or sex can all act as ways to avoid or distract from one’s emotions. The problem is that by doing so, you inadvertently suppress emotions that need acknowledgment and processing. 

Such avoidance may provide temporary relief, but in the long run, it hinders emotional growth and understanding and can lead to ongoing addictive behaviors.

The healthy alternative to avoidance is practicing mindfulness.

Next time you experience intense feelings, try to take a deep breath and observe your emotions without judgment. Don’t make assumptions as to why you feel a certain way. Rather, allow them to surface and simply acknowledge their presence. By doing this you can create space for understanding, empathy, and self-acceptance.

Emotional Outbursts:

Another telltale sign that you may struggle with processing your emotions is when you experience emotional explosions. Understand that when emotions pile up over time and remain unaddressed, they often erupt unexpectedly and suddenly, causing outbursts of anger, frustration, or tears. 

These emotional outbursts can harm your relationships with others and leave you feeling emotionally drained.

One practice that can help mitigate emotional explosions is journaling and self-reflection.

Try keeping a journal to record your feelings and experiences throughout the day. Take some time each evening to review your entries, identify patterns, and explore the underlying emotions. 

This exercise can help you alleviate pent-up emotions gradually and gain clarity on the root causes of your emotional struggles. Worth mentioning, the use of journaling is also very helpful for one’s recovery efforts.

Needing Ongoing External Validation:

In today’s digital age, excessive screen time and technology use have become prevalent coping mechanisms for

If you constantly find yourself seeking validation from others or relying on them to fix your emotions, it could be a sign that you have difficulty accepting and dealing with your own feelings. While seeking support from loved ones is crucial, depending solely on their validation to cope with emotions can have long-term detrimental effects such as hindering emotional resilience and the inability to comprehend your own emotional terrain.

Rather than relying on external validation, focus more on developing your emotional awareness.

Recognize that the development of emotional awareness is crucial to sitting with your emotions effectively. Take time to explore your feelings independently, and recognize that it’s okay and perfectly natural to experience a wide range of emotions. 

Consider engaging in activities that encourage self-expression, such as art, writing, or even therapy. By understanding your emotions better, you can communicate your needs to others effectively and foster healthier relationships.

Understand that sitting with your emotions is not always easy; in fact it is rarely for many.

But it is vital for emotional well-being and personal growth. Recognizing the signs that you don’t know how to regulate or process your emotions is the first step toward change. Remember, it’s okay to seek professional help if you find it challenging to cope with your emotions on your own. 

With dedication and persistence, you have the power to nurture a more nourishing connection with your emotions. This will allow you to embrace a harmonious and rewarding existence, bidding farewell to detrimental coping mechanisms such as pornography.

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