Anxiety is a common struggle that many Americans (and non-Americans) deal with.

In fact, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA), anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults in the U.S. aged 18 and older, which is about 19.1% of the population each year. Additionally, approximately 12.7% of U.S. adults use prescription medications to treat symptoms related to anxiety, depression, or both.

So, if you struggle with anxiety, you are not alone. But what if you don’t know what you are anxious about?

Or what if you aren’t sure if what you are experiencing is indeed anxiety?

These were questions and issues I dealt with myself and touched on in my book When Shame Gets Real. Understand that about five or six years ago, I began suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. The frustrating part for me wasn’t just that I was experiencing anxiety—it was that I had no idea what I was anxious about! In fact, if you had asked me back then, “What are you anxious about, Carl?” I would have said, “Nothing, man. I’m good.”

But that wasn’t true. If it were, I wouldn’t have been suffering from panic attacks. The issue was that, consciously, I wasn’t aware of any overriding anxiety, but my body told me otherwise. Which brings me to the topic of this post…

How do you know if you’re suffering from anxiety if you’re not consciously aware of it?

The answer is simple—look for the somatic or physical signs because our bodies often tell the story when our minds fail to do so. Recognize that for many, anxiety can manifest physically in ways that might not immediately scream “anxiety,” but they’re clear indicators once you know what to look for.

These physical indicators may include any of the following:

Gastrointestinal issues: Do you feel a churning sensation in your stomach? This could be your body reacting to anxiety, especially if you notice this in stressful situations.

Lightheadedness or dizziness: If you often feel lightheaded, especially when stressed, this could be a sign of anxiety. It’s your nervous system going into overdrive, affecting your equilibrium.

Pins and needles sensation: I used to get this often, and it’s actually quite common for people suffering from anxiety. Your body is on high alert, sending signals that can feel like tingling or numbness in your limbs.

Restlessness: Do you find it hard to sit still, or do you feel fidgety without knowing why? This is another common sign of underlying anxiety.

Aches and pains: Headaches, backaches, and other unexplained body aches can often be traced back to stress and anxiety, especially when there’s no obvious physical cause.

Breathing issues: Do you notice that your breathing becomes faster or more shallow when you’re stressed? Maybe your chest gets tight, and you feel like you are struggling to breathe? These are classic signs of anxiety, as the body prepares itself for a “fight-or-flight” response.

Heart palpitations: Feeling like your heart is racing, thumping hard, or even skipping beats can be a somatic sign of anxiety.

Excessive sweating: Do you start sweating when you’re stressed, even if you’re in a cool environment? This can be another signal that your body is in a heightened state of anxiety.

Panic attacks: Of course, panic attacks themselves are one of the clearest signs of anxiety. These intense episodes of fear or discomfort often come with several of the above symptoms combined.

These are all pretty telltale signs of underlying anxiety.

But did you know that your sexual urges (i.e., horniness) can also be a somatic symptom of anxiety?

Believe it or not, sometimes that may be the case. This is because, for some people, these intense urges are actually a way their body is expressing unprocessed emotional discomfort. In other words, sexual behavior can serve as an outlet when anxiety builds up, offering a temporary sense of relief or escape.

It’s important to note that not all sexual desires are linked to anxiety or compulsive behavior.

However, if you notice a pattern where sexual urges become overwhelming, particularly in stressful or anxious situations, this could be your body’s way of trying to self-soothe. The dopamine release associated with sexual gratification provides a momentary calm that seems to ease the discomfort of anxiety.

However, this relief is temporary and often leads to a cycle of acting out that can create more anxiety or guilt afterward.

For those dealing with sexual addiction or compulsive sexual behaviors, it’s not uncommon for anxiety to be the underlying cause. The compulsive behavior becomes a coping mechanism—a way to numb out or distract from the stress and fears that may be lying beneath the surface. In such cases, sexual urges are more than just a biological drive; they are a somatic expression of unresolved emotional tension.

But why does this happen?

Understand that the physical symptoms of anxiety are your nervous system’s way of telling you that something isn’t quite right emotionally. They are, to some degree, a warning sign. This is because when you don’t process anxiety on a conscious level, your body does the talking by manifesting it physically. And this can include sexual urges that come from the brain’s desire to “shut down” or escape emotionally difficult situations.

So, if that sounds like you, what can you do?

Well, once you’ve identified that you’re dealing with anxiety, the next step is figuring out the root cause. But like I mentioned earlier, this isn’t always easy. If you’re like I was, you might not be able to identify the source on your own, and that’s okay. Sometimes we lack the introspective tools to dig that deep, especially when the anxiety has been building for a long time or is tied to subconscious fears or insecurities.

This is where counseling comes in.

A professional counselor can help you dig into your subconscious fears, guide you through identifying the triggers, and develop strategies for dealing with them. It may take time, but it’s possible to figure out what’s causing your anxiety and find ways to manage it effectively.

In my case, through counseling, I was able to become more self-aware and detect the anxiety in myself before it turned into a full-blown panic attack. Today, while I still experience anxiety from time to time, I haven’t had a panic attack in years. Counseling also taught me useful techniques like deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation to help manage anxiety when it does arise.

Ultimately, realize that anxiety doesn’t always announce itself loudly.

It can simmer quietly in the background, manifesting through physical symptoms long before you become consciously aware of it. If you find yourself experiencing any of the symptoms I mentioned earlier—whether it’s gastrointestinal discomfort, lightheadedness, or sexual compulsions—it might be worth considering whether anxiety is playing a role.

And if you recognize these signs in yourself, it’s important to take steps to understand and manage your anxiety, whether through self-care techniques or seeking professional help. Remember, your body will often tell the story your mind isn’t ready to admit. Listen to it.

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