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TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT PORN, SHARKS, AND POTTY MOUTHS

 

 

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Next month in the Live Free Community we will be delving into some great discussions regarding parenting and sexuality.

Understand the way we talk about this stuff can dramatically shape our life experiences and perspectives.

We will also be releasing a new FREE course called the Very Good Sex Talk from our partners at ProjectSIX19 (sidenote: these guys run an awesome ministry and if you want some great resources regarding sexuality, in general, I can’t recommend enough that you check them out.)

Anyway, with all that in mind, I thought I’d share an experience with you that I had with my kids about 6 years ago.

It’s funny how life’s little moments can serve as great teachable opportunities, especially with kids.

I saw a video on twitter (you may have seen it too). It was of a man in Australia who jumped off a cliff into the harbor only to land about 20 feet away from a GREAT WHITE SHARK! (you can watch it here)

What is so awesome about this footage is that it was taken from a camera strapped on the man’s helmet so you can watch the whole thing from a 1st person point of view.

Not to be a spoiler, but the man lives and at the end of the video after he swims to shore, he takes off his helmet, looks in the camera, and rightfully says “holy shit!

Honestly, I can’t think of a more fitting thing to say in a situation a crazy as that one.

My son, who was 6 years old at the time, loved sharks … especially great whites. His sister, who was 9, also liked them so I thought I’d show them the video.

At first, I had planned to turn off the clip before the “holy shit” moment to prevent them from hearing that word fearing that Hunter would just run around the house for the rest of the day repeating it.

But then I thought about it and I said to myself, “What am I doing here?

They are going to hear it sooner or later so I might as well explain to them what it means and why (at their age) it’s not something they should be saying.”

So we sat down to watch the video and before I started it I told them that at the end of the video the man being filmed used the word “shit” which means “poop.”

They both started laughing uncontrollably (especially my son) and for a brief moment I thought to myself, “What did I just do???

Nonetheless, I pushed on and asked them if they had ever heard the word before.

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My son said emphatically “no” but my daughter sheepishly nodded her head and said that she had. When I asked her where, she said, “a boy on the bus who is ‘bad’ and doesn’t believe in God said it.

PAUSE

Do you see what happened there?

I almost didn’t talk to my kids about a “curse word” because I wanted to shelter them. But, as it turns out my daughter had already heard the word. Worse yet, she had formed the completely misguided opinion that people who said that word were “bad” and atheists!

I think we as parents struggle with this type of stuff all the time, especially when it comes to porn or sex.

We want to shelter our kids.

We want to protect them from being exposed to stuff we don’t want them to see or hear.

We mistakenly worry that by being proactive we may inadvertently turn them on to the very thing we want them to avoid.

But here’s what we miss.

Often they already know.

And worse yet, they have it all wrong.

Maybe you can identify with this experience?

See my daughter had already heard the word “shit.” But, she didn’t know what it meant and she mistakenly assumed that if people used that word they were “bad.”

It’s just like porn.

See, if we wait too long to talk to our kids about porn or sex because of fear they will eventually see or hear about it on their own.

The only difference is they won’t hear your perspective on it.

They won’t get an accurate description of what it is and what it isn’t.

They won’t know what to make of it so they will draw their own conclusions … conclusions that are WAY OFF.

And the worse thing is they won’t tell you. After all, if mom and dad are afraid to talk about it then why would they bring it up and risk getting in trouble (or that’s what they assume)?

And so what happens is our kids get exposed to this crap way too early, with no guidance or good advice, and keep everything trapped inside as their little hearts and minds start to decay in shame.

Parents … we can’t be fearful about this stuff.

We need to have some guts when it comes to talking to your kids about tough topics.

Take life’s little opportunities and start good conversations.

Make these occasions teachable moments and show your kids that you are someone they can talk to, not someone they need to be secretive around.

You need to decide to be the one they hear from on these topics and not some snotty nose kid in their classroom or at the bus corner.

Step up and take a little risk because if you don’t you are making certain that they will find out things the hard way.

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