The Powerful Weapon of Hatred
People I personally know who have been “sober” for years still occasionally get that “urge” or thought to look at porn.
Why is this?
Well, there is a list of reasons, but I believe that primarily it is because we’ve short-circuited our brains by looking at pornography in the past.
You see, the brain is an amazing thing but when we abuse it we subject ourselves to long term problems.
This “short-circuiting” given enough time will get better and the brain will heal, but the images we have seen get locked into our memory banks forever.
Unfortunately there is no way to completely undo what has already been done, so staying away from porn is something that at times takes effort.
The question then becomes, “Ok, well then what do I do?”
There is no easy single answer because we are all different. However, I would tell you that generally if something works for you keep doing it.
Years ago I was going through some rough stuff with someone close to me. I can’t get into specifics but let’s just say I’m working in the right ministry.
Anyway, as I was driving to a church event for men called Porn and Pancakes, my mind kept wandering.
As I mentally tossed and turned about what was going on in my life suddenly a strange thought creeped into my brain. I recalled a scene from a pornographic video I saw over 10 years ago (at the time).
However, as I tried to come to grips with that thought I heard this voice in my mind saying … “You know it’s still out there, you can watch it later. It’s no big deal, it’s just a video.”
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It only took a moment but then I snapped myself back into reality.
I straightened up and thought – Wow, I just was thinking about how porn screws people up and then BAM that hits me!
It was at that moment I fully appreciated how the enemy uses porn to destroy people.
I started thinking about it, churning it over in my brain and I found myself getting really mad.
In fact, the more I thought about it the madder I got.
I kept thinking, “Wow, Satan will attack me anyway he can because he hates me that much!”
(Sidenote: Understand, I realize that 95% of the time our own brains are usually the culprit in these situations, and this is in no way my endorsement of “The Devil made Me Do It” defense. But, this was what ran through my head at the time.)
Just thinking that someone literally hates me so much he will do anything to throw me off sent me into a small rage.
As my anger increased a funny thing happened – the thoughts about that video … they went away.
That little tempting voice … GONE!
I was so fixated on my hatred for the enemy that I completely forgot about the porn.
It was strange but freeing.
I just discovered a new weapon for maintaining my sexual integrity and it was a powerful one … hate.
Now before you get all “You should never hate Carl…” on me realize something.
Who was I hating?
What was I hating?
The destructive effects of porn.
“In reality, though, hate is one of the most important aspects of being human. It is one of the most crucial ingredients of a good person’s character. What we hate says a lot about who we are, what we value, what we care about. And how much we hate says much about how we will succeed in love and life.”
You see, hate can be healthy when channeled correctly.
Because I hate the fact that it breaks up marriages.
I hate that it jacks up families.
I hate that it can lead to much worse things.
I hate that Satan used it in my life to try to destroy me because he despises me that much.
What do I do when I want to look at porn?
Sometimes I even verbally express my hatred in words I will leave out of this email 🙂
You know why?
Because the Bible says the enemy comes to kill, steal, & destroy and I say that bastard stole enough already!
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