Accountability and Reaching Your Goals

At the End of the Day We Are Accountable to Ourselves – Our Success Is a Result of What We Do.

– Catherine PulsiferGet Your 10 Day FREE Action Plan

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If you want to succeed, you need to set goals. This is a basic rule that all high performers understand and observe.

Without goals, we lack focus and direction.

Goal setting allows us to take control of our life’s direction and provide an objective benchmark for personal success. This applies to all areas of life, including fitness, finances, business, and yes… sexual integrity.

But, goal setting is one thing.
Reaching your goals is quite another.

And this is where many people run into problems.

Sometimes the issue lies within the quality of the goal itself.

Are your goals specific enough?
Are they relevant?
Are they measurable?
Are your goals realistically attainable?

If not, then you need to review and probably revise them.

But, if you have quality goals and still can’t hit them, then most likely the issue lies within your execution.

Have you written them down somewhere?

The physical act of writing down your goals makes them real and tangible and removes any excuse for forgetting them. Post your goals in visible places to remind yourself every day of what it is you intend to do.

Have you made an action plan?

Having a plan seems pretty basic, but ironically this step is often skipped over in the process of goal setting. Don’t get so focused on the outcome that you forget to plan all of the steps needed along the way.

If you struggle with porn and have a goal to find real freedom, then start by downloading our 10 Day Freedom from Porn Action Plan.

Do you have accountability?

In our experience, this is one of the biggest reasons people fail to reach their goals. They have no accountability.

Understand this,

Nothing helps ensure that we reach our goals more than being accountable.

That’s not a matter of opinion, but a scientific fact.

Studies like those conducted by Dr. Gail Matthews and The American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) have shown that accountability plays a crucial role in people reaching their goals.

In fact, the ASTD study found you can increase the chances of you reaching a goal by 65% by merely committing to someone. And, “if you have a specific accountability appointment with a person you’ve committed [to],” those chances increase to 95%.

Here is a breakdown of the probability of completing a goal if:

You have an idea or a goal: 10%
You consciously decide you will do it: 25%
You decide when you will do it: 40%
You plan how you will do it: 50%
You commit to someone you will do it: 65%
You have a specific accountability appointment with a person you’ve committed to: 95%

Notice the last two items — 65 % and 95% probability of goal completion with accountability.

Ferdinand M. Vieider put it this way in his paper Separating Real Incentives and Accountability:

“Accountability pressures improve the rationality of subjects and make them strive for coherence, thus leading to a significant reduction in preference reversals. Incentives, on the other hand, do not impact the incidence of preference reversals.”

In other words, accountability leads to more rational choices and reduces the risk of abandonment of our goals while incentives (like money, etc.) do not have the same effect.

The evidence is clear.

If you are serious about reaching a goal (like breaking free of porn use), you need accountability.

So what should you do? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Get a coach. Leaders and business owners do this often investing 1,000’s of dollars into executive coaching programs because they know the return on investment is worth it.
2. Get accountability software. Let’s be real; if you struggle with porn, 99% of your poor decisions are being done on your computer or phone. Accountability software makes it easy to stay accountable with your online decisions to a trusted friend or partner and will help you much more than just filtering tools.
3. Get a community. 1-on-1 accountability is great, but being accountable to a group is even better. A group provides more people to be responsible to and more voices speaking into your decisions and goals. If you struggle with porn and lust, you can find that type of community in the Live Free App or one of our online small groups.

Stop wishing that you could hit your goals, take action on them today by creating an action plan, and getting the accountability you need to reach them.

1. Thomas Oppong, “Psychological Secrets to Hack Your Way to Better Life Habits,” Observer, March 20, 2017, https://observer.com/2017/03/psychological-secrets-hack-better-life-habits-psychology-productivity.
2. Vieider, Ferdinand M. “Separating Real Incentives and Accountability.”https://www.tinbergen.nl/Home, Tinbergen Institute Discussion Paper , 27 May 2008, papers.tinbergen.nl/08055.pdf.

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Porn Use Statistics

Numbers Don’t Lie. Women Lie, Men Lie, but Numbers Don’t Lie.

– Max HollowayGet Your 10 Day FREE Action Plan

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Back in 1983, the book Math Never Lies by Stanley Friedlander was published offering an introduction to basic college mathematics.

Now while the subject of the book sounds terribly dull, the message of the title is clear… Math is precise and tells a story that’s not subjective or manipulative.

When it comes to the “porn epidemic” in this country (and the world) debates often surface.

Is porn addictive?
Is porn harmful?
Is porn use really that prevalent?

And so on…

Consequently, numbers often get manipulated, massaged, and even fabricated in an effort to defend one’s position for, or against, the impact porn has on society.

Therefore, in this article, we want to summarize some of the more compelling porn stats as reported by the Barna Group.

No spin.
No manipulation of the data.

Just the real numbers.

What makes something porn?

84% of adults 25+ agree that if sex scenes make up most or all of a video, with very little storyline it’s porn.

61% of adults 25+ agree that close-ups or still pictures of the genitalia should be defined as porn.

26% of adults 25+ feel that fully nude still pictures are porn.

32% of adults 25+ believe that chatting or texting about sexual acts with someone you do not know personally is porn.

11% of adults 25+ feel that a partially nude show or dance is porn.

Porn Use

49% of young adults (18-24) say all or most of their friends use porn on a regular basis.

41% of young males (13-24) who are practicing Christians actively seek out porn at least once or twice a month.

33% of Americans seek out porn at least once a month.

57% of young adults seek out porn at least once a month.

46% of men seek out porn at least once a month.

63% of U.S. teens and adults 13 and older claim to search for porn for the purposes of personal arousal.

27% of older Millennials started viewing porn prior to puberty.

Sexting

40% of teens and young adults who actively seek out porn have sent a nude picture to someone.

62% of teens and young adults report receiving a nude image from someone else via text, email, social media or app. 

Porn and Culture

66% of young adults (18-24) rarely or never talk to their friends about porn.

55% of adults 25+ say viewing porn is wrong.

32% of teens and young adults say viewing porn is wrong

31% of young adults say porn is bad for society.

59% of U.S. teens, young adults and adults 25+ who are practicing Christians say porn is bad for society while only 16% of those who aren’t feel the same way.

50% of Millennials believe porn’s impact on society is negative.

77% of weekly porn users claim they are comfortable with how much porn they use.

39% of teens and adults 13 and older who are practicing Christians claim they are comfortable with how much porn they use while 40% would rather not use porn at all.

Only 50% of daily porn users say porn featuring teens is wrong.

Porn in the Church

20% of youth pastors admit to currently struggling with porn.

14% of all pastors admit to currently struggling with porn.

34% of all pastors believe they are more at risk of porn temptation when compared to other professions.

53% of all pastors within the last 12 months has learned that someone they know in ministry struggles with porn.

41% of pastors say that the nature of their job makes it easier to use pornography secretly.

64% of pastors who use porn believe that it has on some level negatively impacted their ministry.

75% of practicing Christians believe that porn is a bigger problem for the Church now than it was 20 years ago.

Only 38% of pastors say porn use is a major (3%) or significant (35%) problem in their church.

59% of practicing Christian married men have sought a pastor’s help for porn use.

Only 19% of practicing Christians who use porn are currently trying to stop.

52% of senior pastors and 72% of youth pastors have recommended accountability to those who have sought their help.

Just 7% of pastors say their church has a ministry program for those struggling with porn.

Only 14% of youth pastors believe porn is a big problem among teens in their church.

41% of self-identified Christians say a pastor should be fired if he uses porn.

Stopping Porn Use

87% of adults 25+ say they have no one in their life who is helping them avoid pornography.

91% of U.S. self-identified Christians 25+ say counseling is very or somewhat effective for dealing with porn use.

83% of U.S. self-identified Christians 25+ say accountability groups are very or somewhat effective for dealing with porn use.

71% of U.S. self-identified Christians 25+ say internet monitoring or filtering is very or somewhat effective for dealing with porn use.

Our Conclusion

The beauty of numbers is is that they tell a story. And that story is not biased by preference or prejudice. Therefore, make your own conclusion from the stats on porn presented, but keep in mind this: These numbers are based on what people were willing to report.

Regardless, based on the data, we feel the following observations are accurate.

First, people can’t agree on a solid definition for porn actually is. 

This means it’s unwise to try to draw super defined boundaries based on a clear definition for “Porn.” Rather, decide for yourself what constitutes porn for you. Consequently, if you are using something to illicit sexual pleasure that is outside your spouse we believe that thing is porn for you.

Second, porn use is widespread regardless of faith practices. In other words, if you struggle with porn, you are not alone. Rather than isolate, find support and encouragement in a like-minded positive community like Live Free.

Third, whether or not one believes that porn use is wrong, very few people want to talk about it. Again, there is no reason to struggle in silence. If you are using porn and want to stop there is help right here in the Live Free Community. 

Fourth, porn is a problem in the church and even within church leadership. However, very little is being done within the church to address this issue. If you are a church leader, Live Free can help you change that and assist you in building an effective program to help those in your church who need help.

Fifth, while the vast majority of porn users seeking help have no one in their life to help them, most agree that accountability groups are very effective when it comes to stopping porn use. The bottom line is we need people in our lives to be successful. Get the accountability and support you need today.

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